So, I was talking to one of my co-workers this morning. The conversation started off with us greeting each other and him asking how I was. Well, at the time, I was emptying all of the trash cans of the store I work at. I told him I was doing pretty good and he asked, "What makes you say that?" I told him, "Well, I mean, I have a place to live where I'm treated well and I have a job. Sure, I don't have much money and most goes to paying bills to the point that I wonder when I'm going to eat next, but it's better than a few months back, a week before I turned 20, and I was without a home and was robbed basically $1,000 by my own family." He said I had a good point and then when I asked how he was he said his day was about a "B". I went, "Yeah, I understand, but I guess that's just how life is for most people... But not Donald Trump. That guy's got nothing to complain about!" He responded with, "What about his hair?" and I quickly countered with, "Well, yeah, but, could you imagine Donald Trump with long, luxurious flowing locks cascading down his back."
This was my mistake because, I swear to God, up until I left work my mind began to elaborate this stupid ass stry of how Donald Trump is a demi-God, cast from the heavens due to God's fear that one day the Trump will defeat him and take over of the cosmos, but Trumps true power lies within having a full head of hair, and that's why he began holding "The Apprentice". See, "The Apprentice" is just his way to find the "true locks of destiny" that he can then reap to use as his own to regain his power and take his rightful place on the throne of Heaven as the true Cosmic Ruler of the universe and all that is. However, the Illuminati, who in all reality are the agents of God sent to Earth with the sole task to keep Trump in his place, have been keeping an eye on the self-made tycoon and so that's why he does "Celebrity Apprentice"-- t throw them off his true intentions. After all, if a celebrity goes missing, the cosmos will be thrown out of balance and he knows this so he clearly can't kidnap them and experiment with their hair like he does the normal winners of "The Apprentice".
The worst part is that I want to write this but I'm afraid that it'll become popular and then it'll just be like, "Why are you guys reading this shit!? I literally thought of this while cleaning toilets!"